6 Things Adult Children Do That Undermine Estate Plans
Estate planning is supposed to make things easier for families. It’s meant to protect assets, honor wishes, and keep the peace. But even the best estate plan can fall apart if adult children make certain mistakes. These missteps can lead to confusion, family fights, and even legal trouble. If you’re a parent or an adult child yourself, it’s important to know what can go wrong. Understanding these common pitfalls can help you avoid them and keep your family’s estate plan on track.
The truth is, estate plans are only as strong as the people who follow them. Adult children often have good intentions, but their actions can still cause problems. Here are six things adult children do that can undermine estate plans—and what you can do to prevent them.
1. Ignoring the Estate Plan
One of the biggest mistakes adult children make is simply ignoring the estate plan. Maybe they don’t know where the documents are, or they assume everything will work out. But estate plans need to be followed exactly. If adult children don’t read the will or trust, they might miss important details. This can lead to assets being distributed incorrectly or wishes not being honored.
To avoid this, make sure everyone knows where the estate plan is kept. Talk about the plan openly. Encourage your family to ask questions now, not later. If you’re an adult child, take the time to read the documents and understand your responsibilities. This simple step can prevent a lot of confusion and conflict.
2. Fighting With Siblings
Family fights are one of the most common reasons estate plans fail. When adult children argue over money, property, or sentimental items, it can delay the process and even lead to court battles. These fights can drain the estate’s value and damage relationships for years.
If you’re worried about this, consider having a family meeting to discuss the estate plan. Be clear about your wishes and listen to everyone’s concerns. If you’re an adult child, try to keep emotions in check and focus on what your parent wanted. Mediation can also help if things get heated. The goal is to honor the estate plan, not win an argument.
3. Making Unauthorized Changes
Sometimes, adult children try to “fix” the estate plan after a parent passes away. They might change titles, move money, or even rewrite documents. This is a huge mistake. Only the person who created the estate plan can make changes, and only while they’re alive and of sound mind. Any changes made after the fact are usually invalid and can lead to legal trouble.
If you think the estate plan needs updating, talk to an attorney while your parent is still alive. Never try to make changes on your own. If you’re an executor, follow the plan exactly as written. This protects you and the estate from future problems.
4. Failing to Communicate
Lack of communication is a silent killer of estate plans. Adult children sometimes keep secrets, avoid hard conversations, or assume everyone is on the same page. This can lead to misunderstandings and mistakes. For example, one sibling might think they’re supposed to handle the house, while another believes it should be sold.
To prevent this, keep communication open and honest. If you’re a parent, explain your decisions and answer questions. If you’re an adult child, don’t be afraid to speak up if you’re confused or concerned. Good communication can prevent most estate planning problems before they start.
5. Delaying Important Tasks
Procrastination can be a big problem when it comes to estate plans. Adult children might put off filing paperwork, selling property, or paying taxes. These delays can cause penalties, increase costs, and even put the estate at risk. Some assets, like retirement accounts, have strict deadlines for distribution.
If you’re responsible for handling an estate, act quickly. Make a checklist of tasks and set deadlines. If you’re overwhelmed, ask for help from a professional. The sooner you start, the smoother the process will be.
6. Disregarding Tax Implications
Taxes are a big part of estate planning, but they’re often overlooked. Adult children might not realize that certain assets come with tax bills. If they distribute assets without considering taxes, the estate could owe more than expected. This can reduce inheritances and cause stress for everyone involved.
To avoid this, learn about the tax rules that apply to your situation. If you’re not sure, talk to a tax professional. Make sure taxes are paid before distributing assets. This protects the estate and ensures everyone gets their fair share.
Estate Plans Work Best When Everyone Cooperates
Estate plans are designed to make things easier, not harder. But they only work if everyone involved understands their role and follows the plan. Adult children can help by staying informed, communicating clearly, and respecting the process. Mistakes happen, but most can be avoided with a little planning and honesty. When families work together, estate plans do what they’re supposed to do—protect loved ones and honor wishes.
What challenges have you faced with estate planning in your family? Share your thoughts in the comments.
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