9 Life Skills Men Aren’t Taught Because They’re Supposed to ‘Figure It Out’
Let’s be honest: there’s a long-standing myth that men are supposed to just “figure it out” when it comes to life skills. Whether it’s fixing a leaky faucet or navigating emotional conversations, society often expects men to learn by trial and error. But this approach can leave many guys feeling lost, frustrated, or even embarrassed when they hit a wall. Everyone benefits from a little guidance, and there’s no shame in admitting you don’t know it all. That’s why we’re breaking down nine essential life skills men aren’t always taught, but absolutely need to thrive. If you’ve ever felt like you missed a memo, you’re not alone—and this list is for you.
1. Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is more than understanding your own feelings—it’s about recognizing, expressing, and managing emotions in yourself and others. Many men grow up hearing that showing emotion is a sign of weakness, but research shows that high emotional intelligence leads to better relationships and career success. Start by practicing active listening, asking open-ended questions, and reflecting on your reactions. Remember, being in touch with your emotions is a strength, not a liability.
2. Conflict Resolution
Let’s face it: conflict is inevitable, whether it’s at work, with friends, or at home. Yet, many men are taught to avoid confrontation or “tough it out.” Effective conflict resolution means addressing issues directly, listening to the other person’s perspective, and finding common ground. Try using “I” statements instead of “you” accusations, and focus on solutions rather than blame. These skills can turn arguments into opportunities for growth.
3. Financial Literacy
Understanding money is a life skill that pays off—literally. But too often, men are expected to just “figure out” budgeting, investing, and saving for retirement. According to a 2023 CNBC report, only 57% of adults in the U.S. are financially literate. Start by tracking your expenses, setting up a simple budget, and learning the basics of credit and investing. There are plenty of free resources and apps to help you get started.
4. Healthy Communication
Communication isn’t just about talking—it’s about connecting. Many men are taught to keep things bottled up or to communicate only when necessary. But healthy communication means expressing your needs, setting boundaries, and being open to feedback. Practice being clear and direct, but also compassionate. This skill can improve every relationship in your life, from your partner to your coworkers.
5. Cooking and Nutrition
You don’t have to be a gourmet chef, but knowing how to cook a few basic meals and understand nutrition is essential. Too many men rely on takeout or processed foods, which can take a toll on health and finances. Start with simple recipes and learn the basics of meal planning and grocery shopping. Not only will you save money, but you’ll also feel more confident and independent.
6. Self-Care and Mental Health
Self-care isn’t just a buzzword—it’s a necessity. Men are often taught to “tough it out” and ignore signs of stress or burnout. But taking care of your mental health is just as important as physical health. This can mean anything from regular exercise and sleep to seeking therapy or talking to friends. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
7. Home Maintenance Basics
From unclogging a drain to resetting a circuit breaker, basic home maintenance is a skill every man should have. Yet, many guys are left to figure it out on their own, often learning the hard way. Take the time to watch tutorials, read manuals, or ask for help when needed. Knowing how to handle small repairs can save you money and headaches down the road.
8. Time Management
Juggling work, relationships, and personal goals can feel overwhelming without solid time management skills. Many men are expected to just “get it done,” but effective time management is learned, not innate. Use tools like calendars, to-do lists, and time-blocking to prioritize tasks and avoid burnout. Remember, it’s about working smarter, not harder.
9. Building and Maintaining Friendships
Friendships are crucial for mental health and happiness, but men often struggle to build and maintain close connections. Society sometimes discourages men from expressing vulnerability or reaching out for support. Make an effort to check in with friends, plan regular get-togethers, and be open about what’s going on in your life. Strong friendships don’t just happen—they’re built with intention.
Rewriting the Rulebook: It’s Okay to Ask for Directions
The idea that men should “figure it out” on their own is outdated and unhelpful. Life skills like emotional intelligence, financial literacy, and healthy communication aren’t innate—they’re learned. By seeking out knowledge, asking questions, and supporting each other, men can break the cycle and build a more confident, capable future. Remember, there’s no shame in learning, and everyone benefits when we share what we know.
What life skill did you have to “figure out” the hard way? Share your story in the comments below!
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