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Finances & Money

The 9 Dumbest Criminals

April 3, 2024
By Max Erkiletian
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The 9 Dumbest Criminals

In the realm of crime, intelligence and strategy are often prized qualities. However, there are instances where criminals display an astonishing lack of common sense. Here are nine such cases that left law enforcement officers shaking their heads in disbelief.

1. The Instagram Bandit in Los Angeles, California:

 1. The Instagram Bandit in Los Angeles, California:

In a bizarre twist of fate, a burglar decided to document his crimes by taking selfies with stolen items in Los Angeles. Little did he know, his social media boasting would serve as critical evidence, leading to his swift arrest. The ease with which authorities tracked them down via social media platforms left many scratching their heads.

2. The Sleeping Burglar in New York City, New York:

 2. The Sleeping Burglar in New York City, New York:

A thief’s attempt at burglary in New York City took an unexpected turn when he fell asleep mid-crime. Spoiler alert: he was not found by the three bears. Upon returning home, the homeowner stumbled upon the slumbering intruder, promptly alerting the authorities. This bizarre incident left both law enforcement and the public bewildered at the criminal’s lack of awareness.

3. The Forgetful Bank Robber in Miami, Florida:

3. The Forgetful Bank Robber in Miami, Florida:

In Miami, a would-be bank robber made a critical error by using the back of his own paycheck as a demand note. This oversight not only provided clear evidence of his identity but also led to their swift apprehension. The sheer lack of foresight displayed by the criminal left law enforcement officers dumbfounded.

4. The GPS Robbers in Chicago, Illinois:

4. The GPS Robbers in Chicago, Illinois:

In a display of astonishing naivety, a group of robbers in Chicago relied on GPS devices during their heists. Unbeknownst to them, this made it incredibly easy for law enforcement to track their exact locations. The use of modern technology against them showcased the criminals’ glaring lack of intelligence.

5. The Disguise Fail in Houston, Texas:

5. The Disguise Fail in Houston, Texas:

A botched robbery attempt in Houston saw a criminal donning a mask without eye holes. This oversight not only obstructed his vision but also made him easily identifiable to witnesses and law enforcement. 

6. The Butt Dialer in Detroit, Michigan:

6. The Butt Dialer in Detroit, Michigan:

In Detroit, a criminal inadvertently butt-dialed 911 while discussing plans for a robbery. This accidental call provided authorities with crucial evidence, ultimately leading to the perpetrator’s arrest. The sheer absurdity of the situation left law enforcement officers astonished at the criminal’s lack of discretion.

7. The Gas Station Getaway in Dallas, Texas:

7. The Gas Station Getaway in Dallas, Texas:

In a baffling turn of events, a would-be robber attempted to make a getaway from a gas station but forgot to put gas in his vehicle. This blunder resulted in his car stalling just a few blocks away from the scene of the crime, making it easy for police to apprehend hlm.

8. The “Criminal” on Camera in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania:

8. The "Criminal" on Camera in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania:

A would-be robber in Philadelphia attempted to conceal his identity by wearing a clear plastic bag over his head. However, this transparent disguise only served to reveal his face on security footage, leading to his swift identification and arrest. The sheer lack of foresight displayed by the criminal left law enforcement officers dumbfounded.

9. The Frozen Fiasco in Minneapolis, Minnesota:

9. The Frozen Fiasco in Minneapolis, Minnesota:

In Minneapolis, a botched break-in attempt saw a criminal getting stuck in a freezer until police arrived. This frozen predicament not only led to his capture but also provided law enforcement with a rather unusual story to tell. The sheer incompetence displayed by the criminal left many questioning his decision-making abilities.

How Dumb Can They Be

How Dumb Can They Be

These nine cases serve as stark reminders that criminal endeavors require more than just audacity—they demand a modicum of intelligence and foresight. The sheer absurdity of these incidents leaves one wondering how such blatant displays of incompetence could occur in the world of crime.

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Photograph of Max Erkiletian

About Max Erkiletian

Max K. Erkiletian is a seasoned journalist and analytical reporter with nearly 40 years of experience. He has been nominated for several honors and was part of a team that won the Missouri Press Association’s Community Service Award.

His experience has included covering a wide range of topics, from crime reporting to politics and music. His interview subjects have included U.S. Senators, such as Tom Eagleton; economists, such as Arthur Laffer; former Fed Chair Paul Volcker; and musicians, such as Muddy Waters and B. B. King.

Today, he focuses on personal finance, consumer protection, economic shifts, and investment trends. His reporting aims to make complex issues understood and show how events impact consumers’ wallets.

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