Do You Apologize Correctly? 5 Ways to Use Words to Heal Your Relationship
No matter who you are, you have had to apologize to someone at some point in time. Saying “I’m sorry” is more than just a simple apology. You want to use words that repair the trust in the relationship and you want to show true remorse for your wrongdoings. When used correctly, the right words can heal wounds. The wrong ones can make things 10 times worse. Learning how to apologize correctly is essential for the health of your relationships. Here are five ways to use words to rebuild your connections and heal your relationships.
1. Acknowledge What You Did Wrong
A vague apology doesn’t carry much weight. Instead of simply saying, “I’m sorry,” be specific about what you did wrong. Acknowledging your actions shows accountability and helps the other person feel heard. Try saying, “I’m sorry for interrupting you during our conversation earlier. I realize it made you feel dismissed, and that wasn’t my intention.” This kind of apology validates their feelings and proves that you understand the impact of your actions. When someone feels seen and understood, forgiveness becomes easier.
2. Avoid Excuses and Defensiveness
Nothing ruins an apology faster than making excuses. Saying, “I’m sorry, but I was really stressed,” shifts the blame instead of taking responsibility. True apologies focus on the other person’s feelings, not on justifying your behavior. Instead of defending yourself, acknowledge their emotions by saying, “I was wrong, and I understand why you’re upset.” This approach shows maturity and a willingness to change. A sincere apology isn’t about proving your point—it’s about making things right.
3. Express Genuine Remorse
People can tell when an apology is forced or insincere. Instead of going through the motions, make sure your words reflect genuine regret. A heartfelt apology might include, “I truly regret what I said, and I hate that I hurt you.” Your tone and body language matter just as much as your words. A robotic or sarcastic “sorry” will only add fuel to the fire. When someone senses your sincerity, they’re more likely to let go of their hurt feelings.
4. Offer a Plan to Make Things Right
Apologies mean little without action. If you truly regret your mistake, offer a solution or plan to prevent it from happening again. For example, instead of just saying, “I’m sorry for forgetting your birthday,” add, “I’ll set a reminder so I never miss it again.” Taking proactive steps shows you’re committed to change. This reassures the other person that your apology isn’t just empty words. When people see genuine effort, it helps rebuild trust faster.
5. Give Them Time and Space to Process
Not every apology leads to immediate forgiveness. Sometimes, the person you hurt needs time to process their emotions. Instead of demanding instant reconciliation, say, “I understand if you need time, and I respect your feelings.” This gives them room to heal without pressure. Avoid repeatedly apologizing in hopes of forcing forgiveness—it can come across as insincere. Respecting their emotions shows that you truly care about their well-being, not just about easing your guilt.
Apologizing the Right Way Strengthens Relationships
A real apology isn’t just saying the words “I’m sorry.” You want to find the words that will heal and restore the trust in your relationship. Take these five points in mind and it will help you mend your relationships more effectively.
Did you learn anything about the way you apologize?
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Drew Blankenship is a former Porsche technician who writes and develops content full-time. He lives in North Carolina, where he enjoys spending time with his wife and two children. While Drew no longer gets his hands dirty modifying Porsches, he still loves motorsport and avidly watches Formula 1.