7 Lies Society Tells You About Finding Your Soulmate
True love, finding your soul mate, is something most people dream of. It’s portrayed in movies and books as some kind of storybook fairytale. In some cases, you might even have some well-meaning family members who feed you ideas about finding “the one.” For some people, the idea of finding their soul mate is actually quite stressful. That said, a lot of those ideas are outdated or just plain unrealistic. Here are seven lies society tells all of us about finding “the one.”
1. Lie: There’s Only One Right Person Out There for You
The idea that there’s a single person in the world who can complete you is one of the biggest lies. In reality, many people can be compatible with you, depending on timing, emotional growth, and shared values. Love isn’t about destiny—it’s about effort, compromise, and communication. Believing in “the one” can actually lead to missed opportunities and constant comparison. Finding your soulmate doesn’t mean locating a mythical being—it means building a connection over time.
2. Lie: You’ll Just Know Instantly When You Meet Them
Hollywood makes it seem like fireworks will go off the moment you lock eyes with your soulmate. But most real, healthy relationships don’t begin with instant certainty—they evolve. Chemistry is important, but it doesn’t always show up right away. Some of the most loving relationships start slowly and quietly. If you’re chasing butterflies, you might miss the person who’s actually a great fit for you.
3. Lie: Your Soulmate Will Complete You
Society loves the idea of two halves making a whole, but it’s misleading and harmful. You should be whole on your own before entering a relationship. Relying on someone else to fill emotional voids puts unfair pressure on them and weakens your independence. A soulmate should complement you, not complete you. Finding your soulmate works best when you already know who you are.
4. Lie: Soulmates Never Fight
Conflict is not only natural but necessary for a strong relationship. The myth that soulmates never argue sets couples up for disappointment. Disagreements actually help build trust and understanding when handled respectfully. If you’re avoiding conflict or thinking every argument means it’s not “meant to be,” you’re buying into a damaging narrative. Finding your soulmate means finding someone willing to work through tough moments with you.
5. Lie: You Can’t Be Happy Without a Soulmate
From childhood, we’re taught that lasting happiness comes from romantic love. But single people can—and do—lead rich, meaningful lives. Pinning your worth on a relationship leaves you vulnerable to settling or staying in unhealthy dynamics. Love should enhance your life, not define it. If you believe your life is on hold until you find your soulmate, you’re robbing yourself of joy in the present.
6. Lie: A Soulmate Relationship Is Effortless
Even the best relationships take work, and believing they shouldn’t can cause people to give up too soon. Emotional vulnerability, compromise, and patience are necessary components of long-term love. If it feels hard at times, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong—it means it’s real. Finding your soulmate doesn’t excuse you from doing the work; it just gives you someone to do it with. Growth happens when both partners commit, not when things are always easy.
7. Lie: You’ll Be Saved or Fixed By Love
One of the most damaging lies is that love will heal your past traumas or make you whole again. While a supportive partner can help you feel safe, no one can do the emotional healing for you. Expecting a soulmate to be your therapist, savior, or sole emotional outlet is unfair. Relationships thrive when both people take responsibility for their emotional well-being. Finding your soulmate is not about salvation—it’s about partnership.
Rewriting the Script on Love and Soulmates
To truly be happy, you have to let go of unrealistic expectations. Real, grounded love should be the goal. Listening to these seven lies about finding your soul mate will likely lead to disappointment. Once you let go of the pressure of finding the “perfect person,” you will make space for discovering an authentic connection.
Which of these soulmate myths have you fallen for—and which one are you ready to let go of? Let’s talk about it in the comments!
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