Marrying Overseas: 10 Clues She’s Only Marrying You to Get a Green Card
We’ve all heard love stories where the couple is long-distance and, in some cases, even countries apart. It can feel (and sound) like a whirlwind romance, something that seems too good to be true. However, if you are an American citizen and they aren’t, there are some things you need to consider before tying the knot. You might notice some (or all) of these 10 signs. If you do, they might just be in it for their green card. So, keep an eye out for these tell-tale signs…
1. She’s Rushing the Wedding Like It’s an Emergency
It’s generally never a good sign when someone seems like they are in a rush to get married. Vowing to spend the rest of your lives together shouldn’t be taken lightly, and it certainly shouldn’t be something you feel pressured into. You should proceed with caution if your conversations suddenly jump from first dates to wedding venues. Sure, there are some fast-moving love stories that exist (mine being one of them), but genuine partners will always prioritize the relationship over finalizing any relationship.
2. She Shows Little Interest in Your Life or Family
Marriage means merging lives and families. If she avoids your relatives, friends, or even basic discussions about your past and future goals, it could signal disinterest. Someone who’s only focused on legal status might not care to know your favorite childhood memory or what your parents do for a living. A partner who isn’t emotionally invested might be invested in something else entirely. Healthy relationships thrive on shared interest and mutual curiosity.
3. Her Stories Keep Changing
People with nothing to hide usually tell consistent stories. But if her timeline about work, school, or past relationships keeps shifting, take note. Inconsistencies might be innocent, but they can also be a tactic to mislead. A person seeking marriage for immigration purposes may fabricate details to appear more appealing or trustworthy. Pay attention to contradictions, especially when her facts never seem to line up.
4. She Avoids Talking About the Green Card Process—Or Knows Too Much
It’s one thing to be aware of how immigration works, but another to have the USCIS handbook memorized. If she either avoids all mention of visas or seems oddly well-versed in green card loopholes, it could be cause for concern. Many genuine couples research the process together, but when one partner leads with legal expertise, it might feel less like a romance and more like a strategy. Balance and transparency are key.
5. She Has a History of Dating U.S. Citizens
Patterns matter, especially if she’s been romantically involved with several Americans before you. While that alone isn’t proof of anything, it could suggest a goal-oriented dating history. Ask yourself whether her interest seems to lie more in your passport than your personality. If every past relationship conveniently involved someone from the States, you may be part of a repeat pattern.
6. She Loses Interest After the Green Card Is Approved
One of the most glaring red flags is a dramatic change in behavior post-marriage. If her warmth, affection, or communication drastically drops after her green card is issued, it may confirm your worst fears. People who marry for love typically build more connection after the wedding, not less. A sudden emotional withdrawal can indicate that her primary motive was legal status, not lifelong companionship.
7. She Refuses to Share Financial or Personal Details
Marriage involves openness and shared responsibility, especially when it comes to finances and major life decisions. If she avoids disclosing where she works, how she earns money, or even her long-term plans, that’s a red flag. Someone who’s emotionally committed usually welcomes those discussions. If you’re the only one investing time and resources, you might be getting used rather than loved.
8. She’s Not Interested in Building a Life Together
Does she talk about the future, but always in ways that benefit her? A woman who wants to build a real marriage will discuss goals like buying a home, raising a family, or supporting each other’s dreams. If all she mentions is how great life will be once she moves to the U.S.—with no mention of you in the picture—that’s telling. The partnership should feel mutual, not one-sided.
9. She’s Evasive With Immigration Interviews
When the time comes for the immigration interview, genuine couples are usually nervous but cooperative. If she suddenly gets cagey, avoids answering personal questions, or insists you rehearse your answers too rigidly, it could signal a staged relationship. The U.S. immigration system looks for authentic marriages, and rehearsed answers often raise suspicion. A real couple doesn’t have to memorize their love story.
10. She Threatens Divorce or Leverage After Arrival
Perhaps the biggest red flag of all is manipulation once she’s in the U.S. If she begins threatening to leave, controls you emotionally, or suggests she can report you if you don’t comply with her demands, that’s a clear abuse of the marriage dynamic. This isn’t just a moral issue—it can have legal consequences for you. Emotional blackmail is never love, and if your partner uses immigration status as a weapon, it’s time to get help.
Protecting Your Heart—and Your Future
Marrying overseas can be a beautiful thing. If you’ve ever watched 90 Day Fiance, you know it might even work out in some cases. That said, it also comes with its own set of unique challenges. While true love is undoubtedly worth pursuing, you have to have mutual feelings and respect for each other. The best marriages will be built on trust, not just the paperwork it takes to get there.
Have you or someone you know been in an international relationship? Share your thoughts or stories in the comments—your insight might help someone else avoid heartbreak.
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