10 Relationship Habits That Slowly Destroy Trust in Marriages
Trust in marriages isn’t just about believing your partner won’t betray you. It’s the foundation that keeps a relationship strong through life’s ups and downs. When trust breaks down, even in small ways, it can chip away at the happiness and security couples share. The problem? Most trust issues don’t come from dramatic betrayals. They grow from everyday habits that seem harmless at first. Over time, these habits can quietly unravel the bond between spouses. Understanding which behaviors slowly destroy trust in marriages can help you protect and strengthen your relationship for the long haul.
1. Keeping Secrets (Big or Small)
Hiding things from your spouse, even if you think it’s “no big deal,” can erode trust in marriages. Whether it’s omitting details about your day or not mentioning a financial decision, these little secrets pile up. Eventually, your partner may start to feel excluded or suspicious. Trust isn’t just about telling the truth when asked; it’s about being open before there’s even a question.
2. Dismissing Each Other’s Feelings
If one partner regularly brushes off the other’s emotions, trust in a marriage takes a hit. When someone says, “You’re overreacting,” or ignores concerns, it sends the message that their partner’s feelings don’t matter. Over time, this habit creates emotional distance, making it harder to share honestly and feel safe together.
3. Criticizing Instead of Encouraging
Constant criticism—whether about chores, appearance, or choices—slowly erodes trust. It tells your partner you don’t value or respect them. Encouragement, on the other hand, helps build a supportive environment. When criticism becomes the norm, it’s hard to feel secure or believe your spouse has your back.
4. Avoiding Difficult Conversations
Many couples avoid tough discussions because they fear conflict. But sweeping problems under the rug doesn’t make them disappear. Instead, it creates a backlog of unresolved issues that can explode later. Open communication is vital for trust in marriages. Facing uncomfortable topics head-on, even when it’s hard, shows your commitment to honesty and growth.
5. Letting Phones and Screens Take Over
It’s easy to check out with a phone or laptop after a long day. But when screens become a barrier, it signals to your partner that something else is more important. Over time, this habit can create emotional distance and suspicion. Make space for real connection by setting aside tech-free time together.
6. Not Following Through on Promises
Broken promises, even small ones, slowly destroy trust in marriages. When you say you’ll do something—like call, pick up groceries, or attend an event—follow through. Consistency builds reliability. If plans change, communicate early. Repeatedly letting your spouse down, even unintentionally, makes it hard for them to count on you.
7. Comparing Your Marriage to Others
Comparing your relationship to those you see on social media or among friends can breed resentment. It suggests your partner isn’t enough, or that your marriage is lacking. These comparisons undermine appreciation and trust in marriages. Focus on your unique bond instead of chasing someone else’s highlight reel.
8. Withholding Affection or Appreciation
Physical affection and words of appreciation are the glue that holds couples together. When one partner withholds hugs, kisses, or kind words, the other may feel unloved or unimportant. This can slowly destroy trust in marriages by making partners question their value. Small gestures add up—don’t underestimate their power.
9. Financial Dishonesty
Money secrets constitute a significant threat to trust in marriages. Whether it’s hiding purchases, secret bank accounts, or not being honest about debt, financial dishonesty breeds suspicion. Couples who talk openly about money build stronger, more resilient relationships.
10. Prioritizing Others Over Your Spouse
It’s healthy to have friends and family outside your marriage. But when your partner consistently feels like they’re second (or third) place, trust can erode. Whether it’s always saying yes to work, friends, or your parents, remember that your spouse should be your primary teammate. Setting boundaries shows your commitment and builds trust in marriages.
Building Trust, One Day at a Time
Trust in marriages isn’t built overnight, nor does a single event destroy it. It’s the product of daily choices and habits. If you recognize any of these behaviors in your own relationship, don’t panic. Change is possible. Talk openly with your spouse, and commit to better habits together.
Sometimes, couples need extra support to rebuild trust. If you’re struggling, consider seeking help from a professional, like those at The Gottman Institute, who specialize in relationship health. Remember, every step toward honesty and openness counts.
What habits have you noticed that impact trust in marriages? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!
