Comments on: Thinking Poor?

By: Mrs. Micah

Mrs. Micah — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 03:16:07 +0000

I agree. Micah’s parents were very poor…he remembers when they crossed the poverty line. And he thinks that no child should know just how poor their parents are (or how rich, really). His father has been fighting a long battle with depression pretty much forever and exposed him to a lot of worrying aloud that they’d never have money to pay the bills (compounded with phone calls from debt collectors when they didn’t) as well as general lamentations that it was all worthless.

Pretty much scarred him. But he also knows that even if we were poor, we could survive, get by, and do better as his parents have eventually done. So he’s taken some good stuff out of that.

Sometimes I want to yell at his dad for having children if he was going to expose them to such overwhelming negativity and obviously couldn’t support them until the oldest was in his teens. But that’s not constructive and he’s already sad enough.

By: LAL

LAL — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 00:38:17 +0000

Thanks to CleverDude to publishing my post. But it’s not about teaching children money management really. It’s more about teaching children how to view money.

And being “Cheap” can be detrimental. And not paying someone an allowance that is “promised” is breaking your word. And if you have no honor or no value in your word, what lesson about honor and values have you taught your children?

By: Kimi

Kimi — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 02:17:38 +0000

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By: Danielle

Danielle — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 22:03:07 +0000

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By: Danielle

Danielle — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 16:32:03 +0000

Good post! Identifying where your pre-conceptions about money come from is the first step in developing a healthy financial life as an adult!

I feel like I did grow up poor. We never got an allowance, there was sometimes a promised cash bonus for getting A’s in school. By about 7 or 8 years old I knew we couldn’t afford lunch or medical care or glasses on our own and more than a few Christmas’s it was obvious we were the recipient of church or toys for tots gifts, especially after my parents divorced.

I don’t remember if we ever got to buy things in the store, not anything more than a stick of gum. I see kids in the store pitching a fit to get such and such toy/action figure/princess doll and I think that can’t be the way to do things.

Because of growing up this way I was driven to finish college and get into a career that I knew would make me better off than my parents. After a few years of living large off the money my husband and I were making, buying a house and getting into some debt, I started to learn about finances, budgeting, savings for the future etc. I am now trying to turn it around and live without consumer credit cards (once they get paid off). I am excited to bring my new knowledge to my children when we have them, and give them a head start that I never had.

I don’t think of “thinking poor” as a negative for me, it balances nicely with my husbands tendency to splurge. When we need to buckle down and save money he hears me out and when we are in need of small/medium/large splurges I often agree that it was money well spent.

Money definitely won’t buy happiness, but knowledge can! Something I read a while back that has really stuck with me is getting out of the “we can’t afford it” mind-set and into the “I chose to buy a truck so I need to spend less on dinner/movies/happy hour”. This is all based on knowledge and making/identifying your choices instead of feeling like it is all out of your control. A good lesson for everyone regardless of their upbringing!

By: Craig

Craig — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 16:26:51 +0000

It’s a good lesson for parents to teach but I think they may have taken it to the extreme. I understand the concept, but don’t necessarily agree with the tactics. I was fortunate that my parents could afford most things for me growing up. But I respect how they handled different money situations. I had an allowance, and was taught responsibility. I also essentially had to earn allowance by helping out with house chores. If I wanted something, I was taught to save up for it. Look for coupons and sales. There are different approaches parents could place on children and no one is the one and only way. I think teaching discipline and balance and hard work with money and to show how to appreciate money is the best way.

Craig
http://www.budgetpulse.com

By: Susy

Susy — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 14:33:13 +0000

Funny. Mr Chiot’s and I grew up in a similar circumstance. My parents (having chosen a profession in charity work) didn’t make much, but they felt fortunate for what they had. We lived below the poverty line but never knew it. They refused help (like free school lunches for us) because they felt if they could make due without it they should. We grew a HUGE garden in the summer and canned & preserved all of our own food. My dad hunted for meat to and took on small side jobs for extra cash. We never felt poor, but we understood what it was like to live within a budget. My parent would give us a set amount for school clothes and we had to bugdet it out.

Mr Chiot’s grew up in a household that always complained about being poor but always had money for frivlous thing (cable, eating out, etc). They lived paycheck to paycheck and needed help from relatives for large unexpencted expenses. His family always made more than mine, but somehow never had enough. He had to start working as soon as he could to earn his own spending money and in high school he had to get a job to buy his own groceries & personal items.

Now, my parents are set for retirement because they were smart with their money and still live frugally. His mom is still broke and is expecting us and other family members to support her. Interesting.

By: madsow

madsow — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 13:35:42 +0000

Interesting idea. I guess I never thought of myself as “thinking poor”.

You are right though, I had the same thing growing up… we ‘sometimes’ had an allowance but rarely ever got any money, we always slaved away at chores for nothing, we were always denied things at the store (though probably because we didn’t deserve it due to behavior).

I had the same realization in college. I thought I grew up poor since we never got any money for spending and my parents always complained about how little money we had. Come to find out we were really not bad off, they were just cheap.