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Finances & Money

My Superpower Wish: Regaining Cash

Some (or many) of you have at least once considered what superpower you would have if you could have any. Perhaps it’s flying, or x-ray vision (yeah, I thought about that one when I hit my teens), or even controlling molecules. For me, I’d just like a simple superpower: Regaining the cash I’ve spent.

The idea of this power came to me one night when I was pondering all of the worthless or worn out items in my life, past and present. I then thought “What if I could convert these items into cash by just touching them or thinking it?” I then added in items that we now “own” but didn’t actually pay for ourselves such as gifts and even parts of our home (I’ll explain later). Lastly, I had to think of what became of the items once they went ‘poof!’.

Wouldn’t it be great to just turn something back into cash when you got tired of it, or it broke, or you realized that you shouldn’t have bought it in the first place? What if we could get back that $14,500 we wasted on cars? What if I could zap away our stupid couch and love seat that are worn out? Oooh! How about the carpet in the house, the wood paneling upstairs and the vanity in the bathroom that I’d like to replace? Then I’d have the money to actually replace them all!

And biggest of all, I could walk outside and turn our pool back into the $20,000 plus the last owners paid to install it. Imagine the cash I would have! Now granted, there’s some caveats to this whole power. For instance, I can’t just zap away a pool and expect no one to notice, right? I mean, I kinda want to keep this power secret.

So I thought up a few rules:

  1. When I zap something, it converts back into raw materials and is returned to the earth (or wherever it came from). For instance, if I convert a book, it becomes a tree (or sapling) somewhere.
  2. Also, when I convert something back into cash, it was as if it never existed. If it was a car, all the paperwork would be removed from the DMV, bank, dealer, etc. And it would be wiped from everyone’s mind except mine (and maybe Stacie’s).
  3. I wouldn’t have to figure out how to deposit $20,000 cash I suddenly had. Instead, the cash would go directly into my bank account and the bank wouldn’t wonder where the money came from. It would just be there as if it was always there.

I know, I know, it’s wishful thinking, but it would be nice, wouldn’t it? To look at that Christmas tree and instead of having to haul it outside, I could just zap it and get the $60 back that I spent on it. Or all those worn out or ill-fitting clothes we own. Or the deck that we never use (ooh, sunroom!). I have a feeling we would have a pretty empty house if I had this power.

Just imagine the possibilities if you had the power!

Photo credit: RBerteig

About the author

Clever Dude

11 Comments

  • Its funny you should write about this because I’ve thought about that a lot as well. About 2 years ago I started using Quicken and I detail everything on it. So its easy to see how much I’ve spent and earned from all sources. I’ve only been working for 4 years but am obsessed to make back everything I’ve spent. Essentially I want to get my liquid net worth equal to all my after-tax income. So my after-tax income over the last 4 years has been about $200,000 ($50,000 per year) so I am trying to get my liquid net worth up to $200,000 – so in a sense I would have kept every dollar I made, not spent anything. I’m only a little over halfway to that goal right now. Of course the longer you work the easier it is to have your net worth equal to all the income you’ve ever earned with the effects of compounding. So I want to hit my goal quickly.

  • You could always get a Costco Membership and buy everything there. Then you could return almost anything anytime you wanted to 🙂

    I alway wanted to have as my unusual power the “soundtrack of life”. Then Family Guy went and did a show where Peter had this power, and made me sound unoriginal.

  • You’d have to be careful. If you accidentally touched your wife with your power you’d potentially undo your entire marriage. Wonder how much you’d get back for that?

  • This reminds me of the story of King Midas.

    Eventually he couldn’t eat because the food he touched turned to gold. Even touching his daughter turned her to gold.

    The moral is, be careful what you wish for.

  • Don’t you remember Midas? 😉

    It would be nice to be able to make more money magically or just to make Micah’s debt disappear.

    Or I’d like to fly. Either way. (Maybe I could make money flying).

  • BtC: As you probably know, garage sales are a big waste of time for the seller, but a great deal for the buyers. People are looking for bargains and we’d probably end up taking anywhere from 50-95% or more off the original prices. Hence the wish to magically transform our stuff into the money we paid for it.

    And perhaps even add on the interest we had to pay to the credit card companies for some of the stuff too!

  • Wouldn’t the power to create unlimited amounts of new cash be better? But I guess you did it your way to make the superpower wish something realistic that could actually happen. Oh wait… 🙂

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