Bouncing the gaze is a conscientious choice, one that not many people would make, but I’m glad there are people out there who try to do it. (I try not to ogle cute guys at the gym — or move over a lane, like you said — because I would not want anyone to be staring at me when I run.)

By the way, I agree with your perspective here. Although I would say that not all looking is done lustfully. In your running example, sure,.. that there is the beginning of lust. And you’re right, Victoria’s Secret catalogs don’t help matters either. But at the same time, there is nothing wrong with looking at someone and saying that they are attractive or pretty. The difference is what’s in your heart when you’re using your eyes.

But thanks for the constructive criticism and response!

The reason I don’t think being “friendly” with the opposite sex is a good idea is because you can become close with that person, forming emotional bonds, possibly causing relationship problems with your significant other.

However, looking at someone doesn’t create a bond, and you don’t get any closer to that person, so I don’t necessarily think it has the same impact on a relationship. My wife and I both have one of those “look but don’t touch” agreements, and it has worked fine over the years (we’ve been married for 7 years now). She even helps pointing out “hot chicks” for me if we’re walking around. She can multi task better, so she often notices these things before me.

Anyway, I have temptation to look, and sure, instinctively I’m sure that my body would enjoy having sex with every hot woman I see, but it doesn’t cause problems beyond that. I don’t know these people, they’re just pictures in a book, someone walking down the street, etc.

I guess what I’m saying is that I haven’t had this practice cause any problems with my relationship, while I have had talking / other bonding experiences cause problems.

As for your opinion that you don’t want other people looking at your woman, imagining themselves with her, I think people are different. In my circle of friends, it’s a compliment to say that you think your friends wife is pretty smoking hot. I would have just reaction A above, thinking “darn right my wife is hot, but you can’t have her, ho ho ho”.

At least in my opinion, your second reaction appears to be a jealousy reaction, which I’ve classified as a negative trait. I believe (and it appears to be true) that if I’m confident enough, I shouldn’t be jealous of others. IE, I just have the “darn right” reaction, rather than they “hey, stop that” reaction. Now the reason I believe this to be the case, is because I used to have less confidence, and people looking at my wife bothered me a bit. With more confidence, this problem went away.

Finally, I think possibly some of your reaction is a religious reaction, which I won’t address, since I disagree with that on principal