Comments on: Getting a car without earning it

By: Jon Kepler

Jon Kepler — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 04:55:27 +0000

I have to say that ‘spoiled’ comes more from how one is raised than specifically what they receive. I know of people who are given plenty of things along the way, but it’s the work ethic at their core that makes them ‘unspoiled’. If you teach your kids about hard work early, how much you give them later isn’t as relevant.

By: JD

JD — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 13:08:14 +0000

Aw man don’t even get me started on this whole nonsense. I went to an Ivy League school full of rich kids. My freshman year roommate went through THREE cars in his first three years of getting a license and all three of them were high end things like Range Rovers. He would offroad with them and destroy them – or at least destroy them to the point where his parents thought they should be disposed of. We had tons of kids like that but the ones who really irked me the most were the ones who sound like your relative Em. They weren’t necessarily rich but they were well-off and they were extremely coddled by their parents. And they would have these cheap cars their parents gave them and they would think they were “slumming it” because of their cheap cars when the fact was 99% of it who were really slumming it could not even imagine HAVING a car. They would think they weren’t spoiled because they didn’t have high-end vehicles which was so stupid.

By: DivaJean

DivaJean — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 13:55:57 +0000

My kids will NOT be given cars when they are old enough. There is no way we as a family would be able to afford it. And even if I had a windfall between now & then, I don’t believe a teenager *needs* a car- or even a college student.

I believe that when the child is old enough to afford the car and all the responsibilities of it on their own, they are ready. Until then, it just becomes another grand entitlement- of which too many kids today are spoiled beyond redemption.

We live in the same city I lived in as a teenager- I did not have a car until I was on my own. Public transportation was more than adequate or arrangements for rides would be made. And no- I did not mooch rides off everyone else either– my family was strict about who could be driving— not just some kid they didn’t know. I spent money on cab fares, sharing the costs with friends, when the trip was beyond reasoning for public transportation– and believe me- even two or three such cab trips/month are way cheaper than all the costs a car entails.

Full disclosure- I haven’t owned a car in over 14 years now- our family is committed to being a one car family, even with 4 kids. This is how we afford living on only one income- mine- and hubby is a stay at home mom with the kids. Why would I want to pay $10K, insurance costs, gas costs, and upkeep- for a vehicle to drive to & from work only 2miles from my house? I carpool.

By: Rose

Rose — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 03:10:30 +0000

As an employer, I can say that some of the kids who grow up with everything and little sense of responsibility for things turn into lousy employees. What do they do when they hit the working world and find out they are expected to actually contribute? They often find a different job or an employer with a lower standard.

By: BD

BD — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:03:06 +0000

I don’t know – I have such a strong personal finance, earn what you need and spend it carefully orientation, that I see your point. On the other hand, my parents paid for college, even expensive “add-ons” like summer courses overseas, let me use an old family car after my freshman year (I paid for gas, they paid for insurance), and gave me a cash gift at graduation. And I still turned out OK. I lived beneath “my” “means” in college (ie spent less than they had budgeted for books and spending money). I got a great job thanks to the fabulous education, which was significantly enriched by not having to work during the semester. And I continued living beneath my means once I was out of school, which was made easier because I don’t have to worry about student loans. I am really grateful for everything they did for me. I don’t see how throwing me out of the house financially at age 18 would have made me any more fiscally responsible, and it probably would have set me back in life significantly. So don’t be too hard on your relatives. If they can afford to do this for their daughter, let them. If they raised her right, with an overall sense of responsibility, she’ll be fine, even if they buy her a car.

By: Adam

Adam — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 19:39:54 +0000

if someone gave me a 1997 grand am, i’d call that more of a punishment then a gift.

By: Deborah

Deborah — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 19:30:23 +0000

I think a teenager can be given a car and/or college education without being ungrateful or oblivious to what’s being given to them. But it’s rare. I paid my own way through college and grad school (ok, ok – I got loans for most of it that I’m now paying back), paid all my own living expenses, bought my own car at 17 and paid for the upkeep on my own, etc. I had friends who were given everything – most considered it their parents’ responsibility to provide everything from gas money to cell phones to textbooks. Some were grateful that they got it, some took it for granted and one very special one realized how fortunate she was and refused to accept all of the help her parents wanted to give her.

It isn’t just a question of how much a teenager should be given – it’s how they’ve been taught to view those gifts over the course of their life.

By: Amphritrite

Amphritrite — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 17:41:39 +0000

My grandmother died when I was 19. At the time, I didn’t have my license or anything, but I was working full time and had just finished up school. I didn’t need a car, but my brother was offered the car out of her estate first and declined.

I, of course, jumped at the opportunity. It was in good shape, never missed an oil change, was her pride and joy. Best of all, my favorite aunt and uncle were executors of the estate.

But here’s the rub…they wouldn’t just gift me the car out of the estate. They could have; very easily, in fact. Instead, they chose to make me pay for it. It was a paltry sum ($3000), but I had to take out my first (ever) loan to do it. I paid that car off in two years on my minimum wage salary, and it became my pride and joy.

If they had given it to me? I probably wouldn’t have taken such good care of it. It was my grandmother’s! It was over ten years old. It was a granny car, to say the least.

Because I put my blood, sweat, time (and yes, paychecks) into it, however, I took really awesome care of it, and when I sold it two years later, I got back half of the value I put into it for my trade-in, which helped me to pay off a bunch of my debt at the time.

Where I sold it at a technical loss (don’t we all, when it comes to cars?), what I learned from the experience was far more valuable than money.

Personally? They should make their daughter pay them for the amount of money they put into it. Even if it’s half of whatever she sells her clothes for for the rest of her life. A lesson in responsibility is worth it.

By: MoneyGrubbingLawyer

MoneyGrubbingLawyer — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 17:15:43 +0000

CleverDude, this is definitely NOT the way to teach her the value of a dollar!

I have seen many parents buy cars for their (adult) children, and it has always struck me as a bad move. Nothing instills a sense of value and respect for an object like actually having to work for it. Having to work for the things you want also helps develop character and a strong work ethic, as well as confidence and independence.

With that said, if my mother called me up tomorrow and told me she was going to buy me a shiny new Porsche, I’d do a backflip .

By: Lau

Lau — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 16:47:40 +0000

Well, this is a tough-y. I was fortunate enough to have my mom pay for college, and my first car (which I still have). She has been a great provider to me. I always got what I needed and then some.
I could be considered spoiled (call it the single-mom-with-an-only-child syndrome), however, my mom always made sure I knew the value of what was acquired. Looking back, I know I got a little more than I deserved, but the difference is that I do know it and never felt entitled to it.

On the other hand is dh’s step daughter – the miracle child. Your story reminds me of her. Parents desperate to have a child, tried everything, were told they could not conceive, and finally, miracle of all miracles, little princess arrives. At 18, she just graduated from high school with high hopes of going to Harvard or some other very impressive business school in the Boston area. Come to find out she’s going to the local community college and as a graduation present got an almost brand new sport car. At 18, we all can guess where this one is going to end up. Can’t wait to see how she ends up.