Comments on: Avoid Money Fights: Plan Finances with Your Spouse!

By: Rob Bennett

Rob Bennett — Tue, 20 May 2008 11:30:48 +0000

I strongly agree that money issues and communication issues are connected. My wife and I work through our budget line by line once a year. This brings on some difficult moments, even some friction. The end result is that it pulls us closer, though. At the end, I understand her better and respect her more.

I also agree about not keeping secrets. That leads to some sticky situations, though. There was a time when I was supposed to be on a diet and I snuck a Snickers bar. A few days later, when she asked for my spending numbers for the week to enter them in the budget, I had to make a decision as to whether to include the Snickers charge or not, which revealed to her something I didn’t want her to know about.

Rob

By: Pamela Grundy

Pamela Grundy — Sun, 18 May 2008 13:32:58 +0000

Great post! After I married my ex, I realized to my horror he was in the habit pf throwing all of his mail in a pile on his side of the bed and never opening it. A lot of it was bills and collection notices! He’d freak out if you touched any of it. Seven years later (yes, it took me that long) we divorced and by that time I was in up to my eyeballs trying to put out his many money fires. I just walked away and started over, and happy to say, within two years was back on my feet and free of that nightmare.

My current man and I discuss everything, make budgets, make joint decisions, everything is completely transparent between us. We set savings goals, agree on where we want to be. People rarely talk about money before marriage but they should. God, I’d almost go so far as to say run a credit check, but I guess that’s not very romantic. Then again, neither is divorce court.

By: Schoon

Schoon — Sun, 18 May 2008 00:47:54 +0000

I’ve offered the spending allowance to her many times in the past but she says she prefers not to have it. One less account to manage she says. I’ll ask again though to make sure, thanks for the comment, I appreciate it!

By: Kay

Kay — Sat, 17 May 2008 19:01:01 +0000

Bill,

Thanks for the article. It’s very informative.

I dont like one point – that you get discretionary spending money because your work outside home and your wife does not get this spending money because she is at home.

I dont mean to take it out of context and say ‘are you taking the money because you work and she doesn’t get it because she doesn’t.. That is not my point..

I bet (even if she says she doesnt want it) she’d enjoy some discretionary spending amount too, be it for a book or a lunch with a friend or some fun shopping once in a while. Everybody needs some fun money, no matter they stay at home or go out often.

By: Betsy

Betsy — Sat, 17 May 2008 17:35:06 +0000

Clever Dude, I’m enjoying the family/marriage articles from your guests.

Bill – thanks for the advice. With my wedding less than 3 months away, this is useful information — and I’m passing it on to my fiance to read too.