I’ve been wanting to write this article for some time, but I figured everyone was so excited about me talking about how I want to get out of debt, so I didn’t post it. Well, here’s the sequel to my popular post “10 Easy Ways to Look Unprofessional“. Are you ready for 10 more ways to look unprofessional?
- Wear an outfit 2-3 sizes too large. This can be baggy street clothes or a suit coat that hides most of your hands because it’s so big.
- Wear a too-tight outfit. This isn’t just for the office. How many times have you seen a woman (or even preteen) walking down the street in something about 2 sizes too small? Listen, if something is hanging over the edges, or when you sit down, the skirt rides up more than an inch, it’s too short and too tight. Guys and gals, if you can see between the buttons on your dress shirt, it’s too tight.
- Don’t brush your teeth and don’t drink anything (or just drink coffee). I already mentioned brushing teeth in the first post, but this is an important one to me. Listen, I don’t care whether you think think your breath is fine in the morning, brush your teeth anyway! Brush them at night before bed too. Oh, and not drinking anything means you’re not flushing bacteria out of your mouth. Stay hydrated!
- Smoke. Is there anyone in this country who thinks that smoking makes them look cool anymore? I know, it’s addicting. My own parents have smoked for all my life and longer, and they’re hooked. But this isn’t about addiction, this is about professionalism. If you reek of smoke, don’t think that a breath mint will cover it up. You need to go change your clothes, hose yourself down and rinse your mouth with a bottle of Listerine to get rid of the stench. Believe me, I know, and now you do too.
- Keep that unibrow/monobrow. When you look in the mirror, do you notice that you only have one eyebrow? One BIG eyebrow that goes across both eyes? I know that I shouldn’t care about appearance because we’re all God’s children, but there are certain fashion and decency standards I follow. Pluck or shave that patch of hair between your eyes, please.
- Women, don’t pluck, shave or bleach that mustache. You’re not a man, right? Nature didn’t bless you with a clear lip, but that doesn’t mean you need to keep that ‘stache, or those 2 LOOONG hairs that look like antennae.
- Wear worn-out clothes. You know a polo shirt is worn out when the collar is fraying or is curled like a potato chip. If you have any holes in your clothes, especially in your pants bottom, you need to turn around, go home and find some clothes that don’t double as rags.
- Men, keep an unkempt mustache or beard. Personally, I think beards should be reserved for lumberjacks, truck drivers and Bob Villa, and mustaches lost their style in the 70s/80s, but to each his own. If you’re going to keep facial hair in the corporate world, keep it trimmed close.
- Don’t even try to match your outfit. I understand that picking colors and patterns is an art, and even I mess up once in a while, but you at least need to TRY! That orange Texas Longhorns tie does not go with that red flannel button down and brown wool sports coat. Oh, and…
- Wear the same outfit more than once per week. Unless you’re Agent Smith from The Matrix, you probably alter your styles each day. However, trying to get away with the same exact outfit more than once in a week, much less consecutive days, doesn’t work. I’ve actually only run across one person that tries this. And it happens to be that outfit from #9.
Now bring on the criticism or praise (more of the latter please). Do any of these ring a bell in your own life?
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